Elizabeth Jean (Betty) McQuay
August 30, 1955 – May 6, 2021
Betty will live on in the hearts of all those who were touched by her. She took her last breath at Sunnybrook Hospital Palliative Care in Toronto on the evening of May 6th, with her sister Jan
holding her hand.
Daughter of Dr. Jack and Mary (Turnbull) McQuay (both pre-deceased). Betty will be lovingly remembered as a wonderful little sister to Marilyn (Martin) Chilton, Paul (Marion) and Jan. She
will be deeply missed by niece Jane (Terry) Hoekstra, nephews Peter (Shannon), Stephen, and Jim (Denise) Chilton; by Tom (Barbara) McQuay, Athena McQuay, Liam Johnston, Ethan and Sydney Hoekstra, and Jovian Wade. Betty valued her friendships, formed from her earliest years in Mindemoya to her years in Toronto, and her friends will also greatly miss her smile, her sense of humour, gentleness, and kindness. Her unassuming manner put everyone at ease.
Born at a time when her Dad had a growing interest in photography, Betty’s young childhood years were captured in photos, in her highchair, at kindergarten, wearing a frilly sun hat at the beach with her babysitter Lorene Smith, playing with dolls, riding her tricycle, skipping, eating an ice cream cone, and holding her beloved cat Dusty. In love with animals, she had a spirited horse, Bridgette, and a faithful dog, Tonya.
Betty considered herself very fortunate to be able to pursue her passions as a young adult. She took skating lessons in Sault Saint Marie and in Brandon, Manitoba, where she earned her Senior Silver medal. She studied music in Kingston and Montreal, obtaining a Music degree at Queen’s University in 1981. She returned home to Mindemoya for a few years before moving to Toronto to study nursing at Centennial College. In 1988 she became a Registered Nurse, and later qualified as an Intensive Care Nurse. She worked her entire career at Toronto East General Hospital.
Betty visited Manitoulin as much as she could, but she loved travelling elsewhere too, often with family members. Her last trip with her parents and sisters to Bermuda in 1998 was very special. On her trips to Jamaica, a country she admired for the richness of its distinctive culture despite the crushing poverty there, she made lasting friendships, especially with Errol Wade (pre-deceased). Travelling sharpened her keen sense of social inequities. Betty was physically active, jogging, golfing, swimming, playing tennis, and dancing. Her musical tastes were eclectic, from classical to reggae, African, jazz, pop and even rap, and pretty much everything in between.
In the last decade of Betty’s life, after she was diagnosed with scleroderma, physical activity became even more important, to help slow the progression of this auto-immune disease. She continued walking three miles several times a week, right up to the end of 2020. She took up curling and lawn bowling and returned to figure skating — sports which also led her to build new friendships. She also returned to the piano and enjoyed playing at family performances at the local market each summer.
In the end, it was cancer that took her life, at a time when the Covid pandemic also claimed so many other lives.
A special thank you to Dr. Debbie Selby at the Sunnybrook Hospital Palliative Care Unit. Cremation will take place with a celebration of life to be held at a later date in Mindemoya. Donations/gifts in Betty’s memory can be made to the Scleroderma Society of Ontario, the Mindemoya Hospital Auxiliary, the National Chest Hospital in Kingston (Jamaica), Sunnybrook Hospital, Manitoulin Pet Rescue, East York Curling Club, or Cosburn Park Bowling Club.
Offer Condolence for the family of Elizabeth Jean (Betty) McQuay
Ruthanne Francis (Rufus)
I am so very sorry for the loss of your little sister Betty. I met Betty in grade 10; we were close friends, and class mates all through high school where we had lots of fun times together. Your dad was our family doctor; Doctor Jack delivered me and most of my seven siblings. As a teenager I learned to play pool at your house, and my love of water began over 50 years ago in a canoe with Betty. We were roommates at Queens where the adventures continued (in spite of the fact that I was too young first semester to get into the pubs- she always teased me about that)… I loved her laugh and easy going ways, except for her aversion to making her bed…..She would say “Rufus why make my bed? I’m just going to mess it up again tonight”…😁 Another funny memory that stands out involved her cooking skills (or lack of I guess) …. she decided to make us some Kraft dinner but didn’t know to boil the water first ….so we ended up with orange glue! 😁
After university we lost touch for several years while I was raising my four kids in Thunder Bay. Thankfully Betty called me about 10 years ago for a wonderful catch-up session. We stayed connected and when I moved back to the Island to help take care of my Dad five years ago, we always enjoyed our times together with our high school friends. We texted often throughout her hospital stay beginning in January, and were looking forward to more visits at my camp. I told her to tell her doctors to get her better before summer, and she said she would. 💔… My heart hurts with the loss of my friend of 52 years, but I know I can’t be selfish as she has left her pain body behind, and her wonderful spirit is reunited with her soul mate, and your parents. …..Thank you Jan for being with my friend these past months… I know how fulfilling, exhausting, and important caretaking is. I can’t believe that we won’t see Betty bee-bopping around here this summer… I miss her terribly as all of you do. God Bless 🙏
Jan McQuay
Ruthanne, Thank you for your tribute to Betty and your sympathy. It’s almost 5 months since she passed away and I miss her terribly, but it is a comfort to be with friends here at home. Our niece has invited me for Thanksgiving, so that will be the first time back in the Toronto area since I cleared out Betty’s apartment in June. It will be strange returning to places Betty and I went to together but it will also be good to see friends and relatives there. Another milestone in the healing process I guess. I hope your Dad is doing well, I know you moved back to the Island to help him out. I haven’t made any plans yet for a celebration of life for Betty, it looks like it will have to be in the spring now. Thanks again for your tribute to Betty, Jan
Lynda peever
My sincere sympathy. I will continue to remember all the good and gentleness she brought to our world shalom lynda Peever
Willa
My most sincere condolences to you all, but especially to you, Jan. I know you will miss Betty terribly.
I can hardly believe that I won’t get to see her at your side at the markets, or sitting in my living room telling stories about life in general and her life in particular.
I’m not surprised that Quay (as we all called her) loved travelling. We all started our travelling days with a high school trip to Europe. I don’t think Betty could have smiled any wider than in those days.
This will read a little bit like Ruthanne’s letter to you, because I, too, was a roommate of Betty’s at Queen’s. I didn’t have the Kraft dinner experience, but I was amazed that anyone could live off of those dreadfully delicious chocolate squares and toasted cheese sandwiches. Period. Oh, and Pepsi.
I remember her refusing to wear winter boots no matter what the weather, and how she loved her skating so much more than nursing courses, at least in those days. I mostly remember how hard it was to “come back down to earth” after trips to Jamaica. It definitely touched her deeply and it was only years later that I learned about the loss of her partner – so sad.
When Betty started nursing and my life had taken me elsewhere, we didn’t stay in touch as much as we both would have liked. I didn’t get down Toronto-way and our Manitoulin visits didn’t always coincide. But I treasure the last few visits we had up here on the Island, including our dinner at Buoy’s, Jan, and my biggest regret is not being able to see her over the last months. Thank goodness you were there for her.
Quay was a wonderful friend, who shared everything she had, was never quick to judge anyone, and had a laugh that came from the bottom of her heart.
I’ll miss you, old friend.
Debbi Wilson
I met Betty about five years ago through a mutual friend Marie. Right off the bat I enjoyed Betty’s sense of humour, her generous heart and her gentle manner. She became part of my monthly euchre group where we shared many laughs. I will miss hearing laugh, seeing her smile, but mostly her. Rest In Peace my friend. ♥️🙏
Rachel Jones
I met Betty through lawnbowling at Cosburn Park. Straight away she took to the game and was a regular player at both our jitneys and social events. She will be missed by all who bowl.
Barbara Farwell
I knew Betty from Sunday morning curling at the East York Curling Club. I’m not a very good curler and Betty was always so kind and encouraging to me. I will be sure to do a shout-out to Betty the next time I am on a curling rink.
Linda Martin
So very sorry to hear of Betty’s passing. I am very happy that I had the opportunity to meet her and to curl with her. She was a special, kind, loving individual and never complained of her illness. She will be sadly missed. Sending sincere condolences.
Caroline Medwell
I met Betty through Sunday morning curling at East York. She was always kind, encouraging and supportive, and a lovely player. She will be missed.
Brenda Linton
I met Betty through Day Women’s curling on Monday afternoons. We hit it off right away and fortunately for me we seemed to be assigned to the same team quite regularly over the 5 or so years I have played. Every day was easy going fun with Betty & although I didn’t know her outside of curling I’ll really miss her. Reading the obituary, I had no idea she had so many health issues, but you’d never know it; what a tough lady. Cheers Betty. I’ll miss you.
Betty Isbister
I knew Betty through the curling club and we always used to say” Hi Betty and Hi Betty “back and then we would both chuckle…. I do not know many other “Bettys” at this point and our full names were also very close….. Elizabeth Joan for Me!
I was so saddened to hear of her passing as I had no idea she had any health challenges… it seems she did not advertise it…. but that is entirely within keeping of the person I knew…. I will surely miss her cheery “hi Betty” when we get back to curling. She was a quiet steady presence in the club and will definitely be missed by all.
Wendy Tam-Wai
I met Betty through the curling club and was saddened by this news, but I can see how she lived such a full life and touched many people. She always had a smile and had a way of putting a smile on your face too. She will truly be missed and my sincere condolences.
Karen and Lynn Price
Our deepest condolences to Betty’s family. We curled and lawn bowled together, she was a terrific teammate, always a kind and steady influence and a wonderful sense of humour! Last summer in spite of the pandemic restrictions, we were able to spend many mornings and afternoons lawn bowling and afterwards enjoy some beverages, laughs and fries at our local watering hole, Sophie’s. She often spoke of her sisters, brother, nephews and niece and always looked forward to getting together with them on long weekends and holidays. We will miss her terribly, we will always remember this gentle and caring soul.
Mary McLaughlin
Betty was my friend. I did not know her long enough as I met her five years ago through curling at East York. She was kind and patient with me as I was new to the sport. She later assisted me through a bonspiel that neither one of us were prepared to do! Betty was my trusty scorekeeper and often kept me on the straight and narrow as we navigated our way through. Many cups of coffee, and a few glasses of wine…I was fortunate to spend time outside of the club in a wonderful group of women that included Betty. We had so much together, whether it was curling or playing a night of euchre. It was wonderful to have met you, Betty, and a gift to have you in our lives.
We miss you already.
Elaine Ishibashi
I had the pleasure of curling and lawn bowling with Betty over the past few years. I admired her prowess at curling which she had just returned to after many years away from the game around the time we met and at her impressive mastery of lawn bowling to which she was new. But along with her athletic ability, I will remember a very gentle, calm and easy-going spirit with a great sense of humor and the ability to laugh and shrug her shoulders at the small stuff. Right now, as we head into the summer months, I think of Betty planning for the next lawn bowling tournament or for a week or two at her sister’s cottage, and then later on hearing her outline her skating lesson schedule. I am going to miss Betty a lot. My sincere condolences to the family.
Janine Davies
I met Betty through East York Curling Club where we were both new curlers at the same time. I will miss chatting with Betty on and off the ice as she was always so kind and positive. She was a great friend and will be missed by many at the club.
Michelle Yvonne Chappel
Dear Jan, I just saw that Betty passed away. I am so sorry to hear this. We had been friends for a long time. But due to an argument our friendship ended. I am just so shocked to hear this. I want to extend to you and your family my condolences